Look at this nifty little thing! This is the Smoker’s Survival Kit, and it’s all you’ll need to survive the apocalypse (depending on your priorities).
The Smoker’s Survival Kit is water tight and built out of super strong, high-grade impact resistant material, which really helps to keep the zombies from getting into your stash. It even floats, so when you swim across a river to escape that crazy gang of psychos that got exposed to doomsday gas, your Smoker’s Survival Kit will make it through the journey safe and sound.
It has a large storage compartment and comes with two one-hitters (for taking a quick puff before you flee the robot overlords that have taken over the planet), a brass poker (for cleaning out the one-hitter and also stabbing looters and rioters), and smokes like a dream (for rewarding yourself for murdering all those hybrid man/beasts that escaped from the secret underground experimental government genetics lab and have unleashed a hell on earth that is nothing short of a total bloodbath).
The Smoker’s Survival Kit is sturdy, compact, handy as all get-out, and fits right in your pocket. It makes an awesome gift and is perfect for smokers-on-the-go, stoners-about-town, or really anyone who wants to get high for the end of the world.